So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize