It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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