yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
