I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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