Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
