last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
