sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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