i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
