you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
