thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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