just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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