My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize