i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
