i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
