We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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