We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
