Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
