so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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