I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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