I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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