We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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