Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
