I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
