i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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