Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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