with your own penis?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Everything about him screamed your future.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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