I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
