Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
