quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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