Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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