I think i peed on brittanys purse
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
