I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
