Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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