And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
