I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
