I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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