They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
