i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
