The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
