Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
