she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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