why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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