How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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