PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
