if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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