drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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