Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
