You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
