i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
