I accidentally burped into my bong.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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