We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
