last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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