Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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