If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
