I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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