His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
