I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The Olympian is in my bed
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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